Life After a Miscarriage or Stillbirth
Dealing with the loss of your baby through a miscarriage or stillbirth can be a harrowing and traumatic period for everybody involved. Miscarriage is a very common occurrence, but this does not take away from the pain and suffering parents go through after learning about the loss of their baby. Feelings of immense grief and sadness over the miscarriage will occur. The parent’s relationship might begin to suffer. The mother’s body will experience traumas of its own. The loss of your baby will hurt, and nothing can erase that loss. This does not mean that you will not get through this. There are a few steps you can take that can help you down your path to healing.
Your Emotions After a Miscarriage or Stillbirth
Miscarriages and stillbirths can leave one dealing with intense and devastating emotions. Everyone dealing with the loss will likely experience it in different ways. Those who have lost a baby during their pregnancy can experience a wide range of emotions, including immense grief, sadness, guilt, anger, loneliness, and envy toward other parents.
Women who have lost their child during pregnancy might find themselves feeling guilty, regardless of the reason behind the loss. These women might blame themselves and feel intense anxiety about any future pregnancies. After the miscarriage, the woman will still have many hormonal changes coursing through her body, which will intensify the already intense emotions she will be experiencing. Women’s bodies still have to heal after miscarriage. Sometimes this healing process can be physically painful and bring on even more extreme emotions.
The woman’s partner will also be experiencing intense emotions after losing their child. They may feel as though there is nothing they can do to help their partner. Watching their partner go through the physical and emotional pain of miscarriage while they are suffering themselves may make them feel helpless inadequate and intensify their pain even more.
Whatever emotions you may be experiencing, allow yourself to feel them. If you need to talk to somebody, do not hesitate to reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist.
Tips for Dealing with a Miscarriage or Stillbirth
Miscarriages and stillbirths are incredibly tough to go through. There are a few things one can do that can help them in both the short-run and the long-run. When you are initially dealing with the grief of a miscarriage or stillbirth, your first priority should be getting yourself through the initial pain of your loss. The steps you can take to help you get through this painful time in the short run would be to:
Allow yourself to feel and express your emotions as they are. Through this time, you will likely feel as though you are experiencing a whirlwind of emotions. Feeling and expressing these emotions is an essential step in the healing process. Allow yourself to take a break and truly be with your feelings. Do not repress them, as this will simply cause more pain in the long run.
Seek the help and comfort of others when needed. Dealing with a miscarriage is tough. Sometimes, we just want to be alone. That is perfectly okay. There are going to be other times, though, when we need the help or the comfort that only our loved ones can bring us. In these times, reach out to them and let them know how they can be there for you. You and your partner may not have the energy to do everyday tasks like walking the dog, cleaning the house, or playing with your children as you go through your grieving process. Reach out for help. You may also find yourself in need of the comfort hugging and venting to your mother, or best friend can bring you, so reach out to them.
Find help. There are many different ways you can find help in your community. You may be able to find a support group. Talking with other people who have gone through what you are going through may help you feel less alone and better understood in your pain. If you are religious, you may find comfort in seeking the help of a church. Speaking to a church leader or praying to your god may help you find peace. It may also be very beneficial to seek the help of a therapist. Some therapists specialize in grief and loss. They can help guide you down your road to healing. Couples therapy may also be helpful for your partner and yourself. Here, you will learn ways to heal together and how you can help your partner through this time.
Your long-term healing will be a fundamental goal to work towards in your grieving process. The healing process will look different for everyone, depending greatly on your mental health and wellbeing. Joining a support group can be an incredibly beneficial step toward your path to healing. Seeking the advice and comfort of other parents who have lost their child during pregnancy can assist you in finding advice and feeling less alone in your pain.
Understand that the grieving process may take some time. You do not have to rush your path to healing. There will be a point, as you care for your wellbeing and work toward feeling better, that you will realize that you are ready to move on. Know that healing from the pain of losing your child does not mean that you are forgetting about them. Healing from the pain is an essential step in the grieving process to help you begin to live your life again while still allowing you to keep your baby in your memory.
When you feel as though you are ready to move on, you may decide that you would like to try for another baby. When deciding to try for another baby, your doctor will help you decide if you are physically ready. Knowing if you are emotionally ready, though, is something that only you will know. Understand that trying for another baby will not replace the loss of your baby. Ensure that you have allowed yourself time to fully grieve and heal from your loss to ensure that you are ready to move on.
Losing your baby to miscarriage or stillbirth can be a devastating experience, no matter how far along you were. Allow yourself to grieve your loss and know that this pain will heal eventually. Know that seeking help from loved ones, community groups, and mental health professionals can help you on your path to healing. You will get through this.